Jasmine Karissa

What Destroys Friendship?

2009-09-15T10:41:00.000-07:00

Gossip

A woman repeated a bit of gossip about a neighbor. Within a few days the whole community knew the story. The person it concerned was deeply hurt and offended. Later the woman responsible for spreading the rumor learned that it was completely untrue. She was very sorry and went to a wise old sage to find out what she could do to repair the damage.

"Go to the marketplace," he said, "and purchase a chicken, and have it killed. Then on your way home, pluck its feathers and drop them one by one along the road."

Although surprised by this advice, the woman did what she was told.

The next day the wise man said, "Now go and collect all those feathers you dropped yesterday and bring them back to me."

The woman followed the same road, but to her dismay, the wind had blown the feathers all away. After searching for hours, she returned with only three in her hand.

"You see," said the old sage, "it's easy to drop them, but it's impossible to get them back. So it is with gossip. It doesn't take much to spread a rumor, but once you do, you can never completely undo the wrong."

A Walk to Remember

2009-09-11T08:52:00.000-07:00

This movie is one of my favourite old movies. I don't know why, but I can watch it over and over again. It's so unique and unpredictable.

It's about a boy from the popular but troubled undirected group of students who fell in love with the reverend's daughter who has great ambitions and nothing in common with him. Well, at first I thought it was pretty predictable. But I was wrong, it's totally unpredictable. Jamie had terminal leukemia and she had stopped responding to treatments.

I really like when Landon discovered that Jamie had a wish list, and he set out to help her accomplish them. He brought Jamie to the state line, because Jamie said that she wanted to be in two different places at a time. He also built a telescope for Jamie so that she can see the hyakutake comet, and more.

Jamie's cancer got worse but Landon didn't leave Jamie's side until her father practically had to pry him away. Anyway, the movie ended with Jamie's death, but only after she got married with Landon in the same chapel as was Jamie's deceased mother, the event that topped Jamie's wish list. Landon himself became a better person through Jamie's memory, achieving the goals that he set out to do, like she did.

And I really like this quote from this movie:
"Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends" (Corinthians 13:4-8)

5 Reasons

2009-09-08T09:34:00.000-07:00

Okay, well ummm honestly I'm not really in the mood right now. But I'm desperately bored for sure, it's approximately 12.30 a.m and sadly I'm still awake. So I think blogging sounds good right now. But I'm not going to blog about what happened to me today, cause I know it'll make my mood even worse. So I think, I'm gonna blog about 5 reasons why I won't go to school tomorrow.

Firstly. Cause I just got back from the hospital like an hour ago, and I don't think that I'll be able to sleep tonight. Maybe, I'm gonna fall asleep at 03.00 or 04.00 a.m (gaaaah, I hate my stupid inability to sleep) so there's no way for me to go to school tomorrow (unless you expect me to sleep all day long in my class, which is obviously impossible)

Secondly. Today, someone had successfully turned my perfect mood into my worst mood of this entire month. So, all I want right now is just to be all alone. And school's definitely not the right place.

Ummm, third? My head keeps spinning like hell. Right, dizzy. I don't know why, but I always get dizzy and nose-bleeding easily lately. I can't stop coughing and sneezing too. It's freaking me out actually, but I'm sure it'll heal by itself. I won't visit the doctor again, I just can't stand another pills. 5 pills, 3 times a day? Okay, it's more than enough you crazy doctor.

Fourth. LAZY. I'm too lazy to wake up early tomorrow. Too lazy to have to face bunches of annoying teachers and tons of confusing subjects. And believe it or not, I'm too lazy to get out of this house. Cause I know I have to face so many people out there and I don't think that's a good idea for me right now.

Fifth. Because I just finished my stupid examination week today. 5 days, hundreds of crazy questions. Plus their lovely minimum scores for every subject. 80? GAAAAH, give me a break. What do you think I am, sir?

And these 5 reasons are strong enough to make me stay at home tomorrow.

From hero, to zero

2009-08-21T08:08:00.000-07:00

What will you do to someone that you really love and respect, if she changed into someone that you don't even recognize? I know this woman, she used to be my everything. I used to cry on her shoulder, laugh out loud, play pillow fight and those other silly games with her. I used to share everything with her, sad, silly, even spooky stories. She never care about perfection, and that's why I used to see her as a perfect woman. I considered her as a perfect woman, because she knew how to deal with me. She never let me down, even when she's furious. She used to know the right way to warn me, she used to know how to bring me back to laughter.
But now, she changed. Now, all that she care about is perfection. She's trying to fit me in her stupid perfect box. Do this, do that, don't do this, don't do that, that's good, that's not good. God, I'm freaking tired! What am I to her? Her little robot who will do all the things that she wants me to do? Well I'm not that type of girl. I'm not gonna let anyone to take control of myself.
I tried my best to make her proud, but I'm never gonna be good enough for her. Cause she'll keep asking for more. Now, she thinks that I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do. And later, I bet she'll ask me to stop doing those things. What is that? She doesn't even know me anymore. But she keep acting like she knows every single thing about me. Nothing's gonna change the things that she said to me. I can't even talk to her right now. Every conversation will always end with a big fight. I'm too tired, I just can't stand another fight. And for heaven's sake, it's driving me insane. And one more thing, i just want you to know. You used to be my hero, but now you're just a very big zero to me.

Sorry and Thank You

2009-07-22T08:23:00.000-07:00

Well, honestly I really don't know what to type right now. I don't even know what on earth is going on with me lately, I've been acting like a spoiled brat. And the worst part is, I blamed someone who's totally innocent. I blamed someone like it was all his fault, but the fact is it was all my fault. He had nothing to do with it. I didn't even explain what the F was going on with me, I just kept blaming and blaming him over and over again. And now I feel like such an idiot, I feel so bad right now. I've got more than anyone should, but I didn't even realize it. I have the best boyfriend ever, but all that I can do is just keep making him feel bad. I kept making him feel so bad while he was trying to make me feel happy. I was being so selfish, like it's always about me.
But when he said that he has a feeling too, it made me realize that it wasn't his fault. And I shouldn't act like this to him, I was being so cruel. It made me wondered, "do i deserve him?" He's too kind, too good for me. Then, I asked him to leave me, so that I can't hurt him any longer. So that I won't do the same mistake. But he refused to leave me, he chose to kept his promise. That he won't ever leave me, and it makes me realize how lucky I am. I just wanna say thanks for keeping your promise, even when I asked you to break it. Thanks for staying by my side, even when I kept asking you to leave. Thanks for believing me, even when I didn't have faith in myself. And last but not least, thank you for loving me. You have no idea, how glad I am to be yours.

Yes, Preachy

2009-07-18T06:52:00.000-07:00

Gooooood what the F is going on with her? She came to my room just to scold me. She's becoming soooo preachy, and it makes me sick. She used to be so funny, she was the one who always make stupid jokes to cheer me up. I really don't wanna get out of my room, I don't even wanna see her face right now. How can she hope that I'll spend most of my time with her if she keeps scolding me? It's freaking me out, she's turning into someone I don't recognize. Why can't she accept the truth? I can't be who she wants me to be, I am who I am. If she can't accept that, that's her problem. I've tried my best to be her best, but if it's never enough. I won't change anything for her, I won't become someone else. I don't hate her, I won't. I know she's trying to be a good mom, but that's just not the right way. I really miss the old her, for God's sake. Please tell me your silly jokes that used to make me laugh so hard. Share your funny stories that used to make me can't stop laughing, mom. I need them so bad right now.

All I wanna do

2009-07-03T08:28:00.000-07:00

Tadi pagi gue bener2 out of mood. Dari td malem sbnr nya gue ga mood ngapa2 in bawaan nya mau nangis, mau ngamuk mulu kyk apaan. Eh tiba2 pembantu gue ngmg "temen kamu mau kesini ya? udh nyampe tuh". Gue kira itu ria, tp kan gue jd nya hari senin jalan sama ria nya. Gue tanya sama pembantu gue, "cewe apa cowo?" dgn enteng nya pembantu gue ngmg "cowo, tiga orang" shock langsung gue, siapa coba2 pagi2 muncul dpn rmh gue? tiga orang pula.

Waktu gue liat lewat ruang tamu, ternyata yg dtg djody sama tmn2 nya. Tadinya gue udh pgn msk kamar lg ga pgn ktm, tp ya gue mikir kok jahat bgt sih ya dia udh bela2 in dtg gue nya malah gamau ktm. Yaudah akhir nya gue tungguin sampe dia msk rmh, eh dia nya malah gamau msk (bikin tambah kesel aja sih hah) malah gue nya di panggil ke pintu lagi. Yaudah gue datengin ke pintu, eh tiba2 dia ngasih gue bunga mawar. Ah gila gue antara msh kesel sama tiba2 kangen bgt gara2 liat muka nya jd pgn meluk. Yaudah relfeks gue peluk aja abis nya tiba2 gue kangeeeen bgt, hilang langsung marah gue. (pinter emg lo jod)

Abis ngobrol2 kyk org bnr di dpn pintu ga pake ddk, lama2 gue pegel jg bediri. Yaudah gue suruh dia sama tmn2 nya msk. Akhir nya pada mau jg msk (gt kek ya drtd kan gue pegel bediri mulu) Waktu lg ngobrol2 tiba2 dia nyuruh gue ngitung jumlah bunga nya. Gue hitung ternyata ada 12, sama kyk tanggal jadian gue sama dia. Tambah ilang lg marah gue, mikir jg gue lama2 kok bisa ya gue seharian nangis2 mewek2 ga jelas, hilang gt aja gara2 di dtg in sama liat muka nya. Tapi mau gmn lg dong ya emg bnrn ilang kesel sama sedih gue waktu liat muka nya.

Gue jg ga ngerti knp se kesel kesel nya gue sama dia setiap dia minta maaf pasti susah bgt buat ga maafin dia karena honestly gue jg ga kuat marahan lama2 sama dia. Bawaan gue tuh ngeliatin hp aja nungguin dia sms gue (gamau sms duluan) ntr klo dia udh sms gue nya kumat bls nya pendek2 hem sok bagus emg haha. Tp ya untung nya gue ga pernah marahan sama dia yg kelewat lama dan jgn sampe deh gue gamau bayangin juga. Well I hope not a million fights could make us hate each other. Cause all I wanna do is just to be with you forever and ever.

CRAP

2009-06-21T16:24:00.001-07:00

I went to bed at 3 AM and got up at 6 AM today. And I'm not even sleepy anymore. A message woke me up, a message that told me that I should text him as soon as I wake up. I wanted to reply the message but then suddenly, I started to cry again. It brought my sadness back. I've been waiting for him to reply my message, to calm me down, to make me feel a little bit better last night but he didn't even say "goodnight" or "good luck for your performance". This is it, this is the day that I've been waiting for. But still, I feel nothing today. Still, it feels that I won't be there. I've been preparing for my first performance since a month ago, but now I feel like I'm not ready yet. I'm chatting with a friend right now, I used to tell him everything. But now I can't even tell him what I'm feeling right now. I keep telling him that I'm not ready, I'm not sure I can give my best. He told me to stop crying, he kept asking what on earth is going on with me today. For God's sake I don't even know what's going on with me. I really wish that I can share my problem with him, but I can't even tell him the problem. Oh great, is this what you want?

Lost

2009-06-21T07:48:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be my first dance performance. I used to feel excited or nervous. But tonight, I feel numb. It feels like there won't be anything special tomorrow. It's odd cause I've been waiting for this since two weeks ago. And know I feel nothing? I don't even know why. It feels like I won't be there, feels like no one will see me there tomorrow.
I told myself, "Don't be such a fool, of course you'll be there. Your friends will be there too, everything's gonna be okay" But then I realized that I was trying to lie to myself. Everything's a mess, nothing's gonna be okay. Okay, everyone might be there. But how 'bout him? It feels like I've lost him, feels like he's gone.
I have to stay focus for my performance, but I can't even get him out of my mind. And it's driving me crazy. I know it's not fair. I haven't prepared my shoes, clothes, or other stuff for tomorrow. But I don't even care, cause I keep thinking "Why should I do that? I won't be there. I'll stay in here tomorrow, in my own room. Alone, crying, feeling so lost just like today. Or even worse" God, I just need to doze off. But I can't even stop crying. I feel so lost, I'm not ready to face tomorrow. I'm not sure I can give my best. My friends will be there, and I won't able to give my best? I really don't want to let them down God, I swear.

Hey Fake One

2009-06-18T09:37:00.000-07:00

Emang harus nya gue ga prnh bela in lo ya dari dulu. Emang harus nya gue ga pernah nutupin semua kesalahan lo. Biar semua org tau lo kyk apa, biar semua org tau klo lo cuma bisa jelek2 in org lain tanpa nyadar lo sendiri jelek nya kyk apa. Lo trs2 an belagak baik dpn gue, jd gue ga tega klo ada yg nny ttg kejelekan lo pdhl gue tau semuanya. Even klo ada yg jelek in lo, sbnr nya gue kesian sama lo. Tp lo trs2 an ngomongin gue di blkg gue. Gue ga pernah peduli lo mau ngmg apa aja ttg gue, gue jg ga peduli lo mau jelek2 in gue di dpn siapa aja. Karena klo lo jelek2 in gue dpn tmn2 gue, mereka semua itu jauh lebih tau gue daripada lo.
You never were a friend of mine, you know nothing about me. So stop talking about me and shut your fucking mouth bitch. Dan klo lo jelek2 in gue dpn tmn2 lo, yg ga kenal sama gue dan ga gue kenal. GO AHEAD, I DON'T CARE. Cause I'm sure one day, they'll realized that they've been standing on the wrong side and they'll regret it. Gue ga peduli mereka mau kemakan omongan lo apa ga, sedikit pun gue ga peduli. Karena mereka bkn siapa2 gue, mrk ga kenal gue. Jadi klo mereka benci sama gue gara2 omongan lo, gue maklum. Gue ga bkl mrh jg sama mrk. Tp klo mrk ga kemakan omongan lo, I'm sure that they're smart people.
Klo lo bisa dikit aja, hargain usaha gue nutupin semua kesalahan lo, mungkin gue ga bakal semarah ini sama lo. Tp lo bnr2 gatau terimakasih ya, gue trs2 an nutupin kejelekan lo, tp lo trs2 an jelek2 in gue dpn semua org. Lo kira gue ga berani sama lo? BIG MISTAKE. Jangan sampe gue buka semua omongan lo, jangan sampe gue ksh tau semua kelakuan lo ke org2. Hem tp ya gue rasa bkn gue yg bakal buka semua itu, lama2 jg semua org tau busuk nya lo. Gue yakin bgt, jd buat apa gue dosa buka2 aib lo klo ntr lo sendiri yg bakal buka aib lo dgn kelakuan lo.

Be back soon my babies

2009-06-17T23:09:00.000-07:00

I don't even know what to type. It's holiday and I'm stucked in my room, alone, clueless and of course bored. Waiting for a friend to visit and steal my boredom. But I think she's still in her crib (I'm not even sure she has taken a bath, GOD where are you Kiaaa) So I decided to post this blog, and I hope it'll make me feel a little bit better. I really need someone to talk to cause I miss my friends damn much. I've been so busy rehearsing for my dance competition which is getting closer. So I just have to ignore it. Okay it's easy to do when I'm busy and have so many things to do but when I don't have something to do, they popped up and make me miss them even more.

Fitri Syally Cenni Dura Memet Lidia Irma I miss you guys damn much, when will we go out and share our silly, sad, or happy stories again? When will do some silly things again? Will you guys come and watch my first performance? Irma I really hope you can be back to Jakarta as soon as possible cause we're missing you like crazy.

Be back soon my babies, I miss you all so much

2009-06-17T08:01:00.000-07:00

Can you name 30 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 30 people. No cheating!

1. djody

2. fitri

3. syally

4. cenni

5. dura

6. irma

7. lidia

8. mutia

9. tasya

10. mila

11. vina

12. ria

13. kia

14. ayu

15. kak ila

16. kak citra

17. yoga

18. kevin

19. ichsan

20. hanafi

21. andre

22. alland

23. dimas pabelo

24. ncaa

25. devri

26. nadya

27. melvi

28. putri

29. prista

30. karin

THE QUESTIONS:

• How did you meet 10?

-Satu sekolah -.-

• What would you do if you had never met 6?

-my life would be empty

• What would you do if 20 and 15 dated?

-PINGSAN gue

• If you could marry between 6 and 14 who will it be?

-emg gue lesbian apa, nomor 1 aja deh

• Did you ever like 9?

-yes as a friend

• Have you ever seen 4 cry?

-yes i have

• Would 4 and 12 make a good couple?

-couple of friend, yes

• Would number 1 and 2 make a good couple?

-jangan dong haha punya gue noh yg nomor 1

• Describe 8:

-silly, honest, best friend ever

• Do you like 12?

-kesayangan gue ituuuuu

• Tell me something about 17:

-tmn sekelas gue, bangor abis

• What's 7's favorite color?

-ape ye lid -.-

• What would you do if 1 just confessed they liked you?

-udh kok, nih lg gue pacarin HAHA

• When was the last time you talked to number 15?

-udh lama bgt

• How do you think 19 feels about you?

- biasa aja kyk nya

• What languages does 13 speak?

- indonesia, english, a bit germany

• Who is 2 going out with?:

- Fahmi dooooong

• What grade is 16 in?

- 12th grader, udh lulus sih

• What is 5's favorite music?

- banyak yegak dur

• Would you ever date 3?

- ngabuseeeeeet di gebuk alland ntr

• Is 11 single?

- Pacar nya ical noh

• What is 10s last name?

- dewi intifada

• Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 7?

- lesbian apa ya

• Where does 18 live?

- gatau gue

• What do you think about 20?

- super duper silly

• What is the best thing about 4?

- a true best friend

• Is 21 hard-working?

- iya kok haha

• What would you like to tell 14 right now?

- kapan jln lg cantik?

• How did you meet 9?

- satu sekolah, satu bangku sama gue

• What is the best and worst thing about 2?

- best: she's irreplaceable

- worst: gampang mewek hihi

• Are you going to know 3 forever?

- yes i am

• How long have you known 26?

- ga lama2 bgt

• Who is 24?

- adek2 an gue doong

• Are you or did you ever date 28?

- emg gue lesbian

• Do you have a crush on 27?

- astgf adek gue itu ckck

• Would you kiss 25?

- why not pipi nya aja oke haha

• Have you hugged/kissed 22?

- ga lah MT bnr haha

• Is 29 your bff?

- ga jg biasa aja

• What do you hate about 23?

- tukang ngambek haha ampun bang

• What's your relationship with 30?

- temen dong